Ring ring…Ring
ring…Ring ring…
She fidgets in
order to locate the phone from her bone-coloured handbag, which overflows with
all manner of things, including a practicing circus, a spare car and Doctor
Who’s original TARDIS – I think I just
spotted a kitchen sink. She answers the call in a big loud voice. The big loud
voice continues. It’s a public broadcast on the bus. It’s a public broadcast about
her private life. No one else on the bus is talking – and evidently she’s fine
with spilling a general broadcast in front of everyone, who, I might add, have
zero options for any escape from what ensues. I’d welcome the Daleks, instead,
at this point…
Her: Hi, you
okay?
Christ, here
we go.
(Him)
Her: Yeah, good.
I’m just on the bus now – going over the Harbour Bridge.
(Him)
Her: It was
good. Busy. How was your day?
(Him)
Her: Oh, good.
Cool!
(Him)
Her: I missed
you, too.
(Him)
Her: Okay. We
could.
(Him)
Her: I dunno,
I like the one with mushroom better, you know?
(Him)
Her: Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
(Him)
Her: Well, I
can just give her a call tonight…I know, she has to realize it’ll take some
time.
(Him)
Her: And Auntie wants to know if this Friday is okay.
No, it won’t
be okay because I’m going to kill you. Right here on the bus.
(Him)
Her: Hello,
are you there? ...Can you hear me? Hello, oh…how ‘bout now?
(Him)
Her: Yeah,
sorry, the Bridge is always a bit weird at the end.
(Him)
Her: Anyway,
is Friday okay?
(Him)
Her: Well, we
could take two cars. Yep.
(Him)
Her: Alright,
we’ll see. No worries.
(Him)
Her: I know I
can’t wait to see them! So cute – yeah, Flopsy is the cutest. How’s her ear
look today?
(Him)
Her: Okay. Oh,
well. Yeah, I can give them a call if you like when I get home.
(Him)
Her: I don’t
think it really matters, they’re all good. And Cameron is also good with
smaller animals.
I bet he could
surgically remove your voice box, too. That’d shut you up.
(Him)
Her: Alright.
(Him)
Her: Tomorrow
night? Um, yeah, we could meet them at dad’s first if that suits them.
(Him)
Her: No, I
think I’ll be alright. I thought I was going to be so sore! Oh, yeah, and then
don’t forget tonight I’ll have to leave by 6.30pm! Do you think my pants will
be dry?
(Him)
Her: No, the
other ones.
(Him)
Her: Blue? Oh,
you mean the light blue ones?
(Him)
Her: Yeah, I
suppose so. Okay, sure. I don’t think they’ll clash.
(Him)
Her: Something
like that.
(Him)
Her: I thought
we were having that tonight as well? Alright, well just put it in the freezer for
now.
(Him)
Her: No, I
don’t mind.
(Him)
Her: Thanks.
(Him)
Her: I know.
He’s got no savings of his own and expects Auntie to lend him the whole lot.
(Him)
Her: It is a
lot of money, I know! And he’s living the high life, too! He goes to that
restaurant in the city every weekend.
(Him)
Her: No, not
that one with the long pony tail, the other guy who spits all over the food
when he talks.
(Him)
Her: Yeah, on
TV. British chef.
(Him)
Her: …yeah,
and now he also wants to go on that European trip. That’s not right.
(Him)
Her: Yeah, so,
and now he’s looking at places worth a million.
(Him)
Her: Well,
where he was looking it was around 600 thousand. Now he thinks he can go higher
and get a bigger mortgage because auntie’s helping him. Poor Auntie.
(Him)
Her: And he
keeps living the high life.
(Him)
Her: Exactly,
at least we had some savings. We weren’t trying to live the high life.
(Him)
Her: Auntie has
been so generous with all of them.
(Him)
Her: Exactly,
at least she’s trying.
(Him)
Her: I know.
(Him)
Her: And he’s
living the high life.
So you keep
saying. Anyway, it’s Auntie’s choice.
(Him)
Her: Yeah, those
restaurants aren’t cheap!
(Him)
Her: Okay,
sweetie. Better go. See you in about 10 minutes.
(Him)
Her: No, I
said I’d better go. Hello…sweetie? Hang on…okay…
(Him)
Her: I said
I’d better go now. Yeah, we just went through that other bad patch. So, I’ll be
home in a few minutes.
(Him)
Her: Okay,
we’ll catch up on what’s been happening when I’m home.
(Him)
Her: Love you,
too. Bye.
Exterminate!
Exterminate! ...
