How I write

Messy writing? I think so. Actually, it's quite neat writing for me. I like to write by hand before typing any stories. It's such a good feeling hand writing, and allows my thoughts to flow freely. Plus, I like to know I'm not under the complete control of modern technology. There's a certain romance in putting pen to paper.

This particular sample is of my memoir about my wife and I.

What do you normally do?

#10 Dee Why to Downtown Bus Trips – A Diary of Stuff that Popped into My Head One Week.

The final Bus Trips piece...now I have to get serious and post real stuff.

Returning - Wednesday, 4.28p.m., 14 December 2011 

Somehow we’ve gone back in time. We’ve gone back in time to when I suggested we start the week clean and fresh with a swept and mopped bus floor. I say this because this E84 has the cleanest floor so far. They took my suggestion after all.

As I look around this afternoon’s bus, I see such precision. You can see a lot of thought and planning has gone into the design of the interior of the bus. Everything has its perfect place from the two luggage racks at the front, to the layout of the large windows, the placing of the green ticket machine and the six spring-loaded seats that greet you as you step past the isolated bus driver posted on his instrument-surrounded seat. Nuts and bolts are bold-looking and tight throughout.

Despite this, I’m hearing a lot of squeaks and rattles. All of these newer buses squeak and rattle. I think they’re made in Sweden. Do the Swedes purposely build in squeaks and rattles for character? If so, I don’t mind. I feel quite safe.

We’ve been cruising past patches of agapanthus for the last four minutes or so. And although my eyes have been on the journal pages, I can see them waving at me. And they’ve been aware I smiled back at them. Agapanthus make good friends. They offer a reliable, telepathic and comforting friendship.

This bus has quite some energy. It’s strong and hauling us home like she’s already emptied all her passengers out.

There’s a well-dressed lady with short, blonde hair holding a book open in her seat: Hell West and Crooked it’s called. The letters on the back of this book are big and red, so I easily read the title. But every time I’ve done the meerkat – popped up to look around – she’s not reading it. Is she tired? Bored? Thinking about other things? Can she actually read? I perceive her to be a nice lady, friendly with a good heart. I wonder what her story is. Why the book is open, but the reading process is frozen. Should…?

It’s going to feel strange not writing about my daily bus trips. The buses and I got to know each other a little, we became closer. Did the buses enjoy having me as a passenger? Did the buses notice me? I hope so, I noticed them.

#9 Dee Why to Downtown Bus Trips – A Diary of Stuff that Popped into My Head One Week.

Going – Wednesday, 7.31a.m., 14 December 2011

I’ve never caught the E83 bus before. I just jumped on and hoped that it was an express. Yes, I could have asked the bus driver but I didn’t care enough. I knew I’d get downtown and if a bit later than usual, so what.

Most of the people on this bus seem to be women. There are some men but they’re definitely a minority this morning. This bus this morning doesn’t seem to have a soul. The driver looks like he’s an empty shell handling a steering wheel. All the women and the few men look like empty shells.

The weekend has been and gone and the bus floor doesn’t look like it’s been swept and mopped. Do they even mop bus floors? Maybe she’s been swept, it’s not too bad. I guess they vacuum bus floors rather than sweep. I did suggest we start the week clean and fresh with a swept and mopped floor. Now that they haven’t done that the bus and everyone on her feels like an empty shell. Do you see why I made that suggestion in the first place?

Good morning agapanthus! The bus has stopped in traffic, I bring my head up from writing in my Philadelphia-purchased journal to peer out the window, and I see a happy patch of agapanthus in the yard of an elevated house. Their bluey purple happiness fills the empty shells. Empty shells? Is it only me that am an empty shell this morning? Maybe. People today just seem to be empty shells.

There’s potential music in this bus. The hanging handles that are spaced out, two rows of them, from one end of the bus to the other are perfect triangular shapes. They remind me of a music class in primary school when I was introduced to percussion instruments for the first time ever. I remember picking up the perfect, solid metal triangle then gently hitting it with the little wand. A beautiful chiming sound began. A very pleasant vibration struck my core. The vibration continued resonating as if I’d started something wonderful that would never end. All this was natural to me. All this was tangible. And it was fun.

Would everyone please stand up and tap the triangle dangling above you. It’ll sound beautiful and you’ll feel much better for doing so.

Having a four day weekend was heaven. I’ve had Monday and Tuesday off work. So, today’s the last day I write these bus trip shorts – a total of five days just like I promised myself. Will I be back with my Philly journal and willing pen? We’ll see.

I’ve just passed two commuter packed buses. The people locked inside looked like cows on their way to the abattoir to become succulent cuts of beef. They won’t be back.

#8 Dee Why to Downtown Bus Trips – A Diary of Stuff that Popped into My Head One Week.

Returning – Friday, 4.16p.m., 9 December 2011

We’re pretty packed. There’s the danger that as we pick others up along the way, I might have to offer my seat. Usually this is not a problem. But, today it would mean not being able to write down my thoughts. So, fingers crossed, although not mine, because I wouldn’t be able to continue writing. I love metaphors for this reason. You can say and really mean them, but not actually have to do what they entail.

 

An eclectic bunch right now. Real mix of young, not as young, elderly, and male and female. Where are they all going? What’s their story? (Should I interview them?)

People are looking pretty dazed. Probably due to the end of the working week… (we just stopped to collect two people. Fortunately they’re not the type I’d normally get up for, like the elderly or pregnant. That was lucky. Both of them are dressed totally in black, are independent of each other and don’t seem to be servers – what’s the story? – Should I…?)… anyway, these people and their daze. It’s a universal equation. 1 daze = 5 days of work.

The banter slowly rises. Maybe people are nearing their destinations and perking up a bit. Makes sense.

One of the daily sights I enjoy on the bus is the lanky agapanthus dotting the way. Such simple beauty – a neatly arranged and well-formed clump of bluey purple resting on a green, slender, stalky body. They’re so upright looking, and some have a nicely curved stalk that reminds us gravity isn’t persuaded by good looks. Plus, they remind me of my boyhood in mum’s well-tended garden. Her agapanthus are still there, to this pen stroke. I used to get in trouble from mum for karate chopping the heads off a few of them. One day a bee stung my right hand for these callous beheadings.

Some complain about bus travel – I have before. But as a convert I say it’s not all bad. I mean the Brits did base a TV series on buses called “On the Buses” even though it mainly focused on the bus drivers. Still, we’re talking about buses. Have you ever sat down to a TV series called “On the Trains”? Don’t think so.

“Fox on the Run” is playing on the bus radio this second. I never knew what this song title was about. Another detail in life for my eager fingers to Google and discover. Thanks, www dot whatever I choose.

There’s a guy standing right next to the green ticket machine opposite me. He’s in clear view and wearing green shoes and sports (who says that now?) a green cap on his small head of greasy, un-kept hair. Who said lime green wasn’t popular for dressing in? (The ticket machine looks fine, so does Kermit the Frog).

I all of a sudden realise that this bus has become a messy mass of people. It reminds me of a vertical version of a matchbox – matches lying every which way, all jumbled and criss-crossed.

I’ll be out of this tangled matchbox and walking home in about thirty seconds.

#7 Dee Why to Downtown Bus Trips – A Diary of Stuff that Popped into My Head One Week.

Going – Friday, 7.04a.m., 9 December 2011

Shiny sun. The sun shines at me and the bus’s radio is on – the bus driver is going very fast. A rogue driver we have. That’s okay, we shouldn’t be late then. The song playing is Real Life’s Send Me an Angel from the early eighties – is this bus driver on a suicide mission? If so, with him he’ll take down an almost full load of commuters, including me – but my weekend hasn’t even started yet.

He’s turned the volume down, I think he’s gone off his suicidal boil. My weekend is preserved.

They always have to get out in front, don’t they? Our blue bus rolled up to the red lights. Three motorbikes with madmen squeezed past the halted blue and the surrounding sedans to stop out in front of everyone else. They always have to be ahead. Do they realise they’re only racing up before everyone else to be placed behind whatever lays ahead? So, really they’re always the first to be last.

Stainless steel luggage rack enclosure, moulded rubber wraps the window panes, hard plastics all shapes, painted metal components, concave shimmering rear-view mirrors, sheets of rigid glass and multi-coloured carpet padded seats. You need a lot of materials to construct a bus.

Throw in a tinny sounding radio and a rogue bus driver and you’ve got a killing machine. Add some commuters, a couple of leading actors, a director, a flimsy script and a wad of money and you have a movie.

I hope over the weekend someone sweeps and mops this bus floor – it’ll make me feel so much better. Get rid of the black scuff marks, dried, caked up brown mud deposits, random pieces of what look like desiccated grass pieces and all the boot prints. Let’s begin next week fresh and clean. Whadda you think?

#6 Dee Why to Downtown Bus Trips – A Diary of Stuff that Popped into My Head One Week.

Returning – Thursday, 4.42p.m., 8 December 2011

There are sharks in there. Bull sharks. They’re particularly aggressive them bulls. We’re travelling over the Harbour Bridge and the gently rippled water is gazing at me with its watery, blue eyes. We’re floating over this salty expanse and it wraps me up like a comforting blanket, memories of good times at the water, any water – the beach. I bet there are some sharks on this bus as well nice people. There are always sharks around – they can be difficult to spot, other times you clearly see their big, white, sharp teeth, their trademark fins and menacing intentions.

Has the bus become my second office? Although only three days so far, it seems like I’ve been writing for a lot more. So enjoyable and sure beats being a cardboard-like traveller.

I hope the guy to my left is extremely important or very well paid because he’s working on this bus like he’s in his office. Laptop’s open and on. Already three mobile phone calls. The first one was, “Thanks, Alex, can you shore up a time for that meeting?” Shore up. There’s an expression new to me for this context. Sounds like bullshit office talk.

The next call he thanked someone for their “great efforts”, and the last one included, “Okay, can you keep me up to date and let’s see if we can finish it by Friday?” I guess he’s saying all the right things.

He’s been very busy typing and just now checked his mobile phone for messages. Has God left a message for me?

Christ. Now it’s Dave. “Hi Dave” he answers – and without me even noticing, somehow he disappeared the laptop and the iPad is now nestled between his pin-stripe-trouser-covered legs. Modern technology is so wonderful and portable.

It’s also a fucking pain in the arse. Put all your toys away and be quiet.

Is hypocrisy sneaking in here? I did say the bus seems to have become my second office. I’m only putting my jottings to journal – can’t see how that would annoy anyone. Would it?

“Psst. Look at that guy over there scratching away in his lame, little journal. Why doesn’t he join the 21st century and get himself an iPad or something”

We’ve stopped at Warringah Mall. People file into the bus like a stream of dedicated ants on a mission. It does’t seem to end. Standing room only now.

Mickey Mouse just leaped out at me from an Asian lady’s white T-shirt. Mickey’s got a huge smile and is looking confident, he has a politely purposive appearance. I’d love even 50 cents for every time I’ve seen Mickey Mouse somewhere.

#5 Dee Why to Downtown Bus Trips – A Diary of Stuff that Popped into My Head One Week.

Going – Thursday, 7.07a.m., 8 December 2011

It all feels pretty ordinary at 7.07a.m. But my head is clearer, because I had more sleep than the night before. And only one more sleep until my weekend starts. As we all know, the weekend actually starts on or towards the close of Friday in anticipation and celebration of two days off.

It’s still raining, but I’m not hungry like on the journey home yesterday. Yet, hunger for me is never far around the corner. It’s a short corner to turn before I arrive at Hunger Place.

The bus is very peaceful this morning, and as I now, this very moment, lean forwards to scratch my back, I read a slogan on a building for a mattress retailer: “Where Dreams Begin”. Quite apt, I think. Peace and dreams combine very nicely.

Is Thursday the magic day? Will Thursdays always be peaceful and begin with dreams? Will the media never report any bad events on Thursdays?

Even the bus itself seems dreamy-peaceful this morning at 7.22a.m., 15 minutes after I joined it. It opened its generous mouth and I stepped into its bowels. To carry all types of people, like those angry, aggressive or annoying ones, the bus has to have a cast iron stomach. And it does. They do. The bus has a better constitution than me.

Can I learn something from the bus? – that I should fortify my own constitution? Is it a state government owned metaphor on wheels I should pay attention to? A metaphor for how I could become a more tolerant and socially adept person?

This bus is nice ‘n’ warm. I draw this warmth inside of me.

How does the bus driver get on with the bus? Does he treat her well? Do they communicate or have an unspoken rapport? In the end, the bus has the upper hand, because if she won’t go, nobody goes, anywhere.

And if she has to be towed away, she’ll just have the day off and relax while she’s mechanically attended to. She’ll enjoy the tow because for once it’s a ride for her.

She just opened her cavernous mouth open for some stragglers. A lot of stragglers. That was good of her. But, like me, she just wants to get downtown so the day can end. We both want the weekend to come and that can’t happen until today and most of tomorrow passes. I’m assuming she has the weekend off. I get the impression she does as she’s too warm and relaxed.

It’s still peaceful and the Harbour Bridge is seconds away from feeling this girl’s supple, rubber tyres.